February 16, 2003
Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm not sure that I can ever forgive you for what
you did to our family. Did you think you were doing a
good deed by finding the most disturbed kid in foster
care and bringing her into OUR home, making her a part
of OUR family? Most kids have 9 months to get used to
the idea of a new baby, but we had only 6 to get used to
the idea of an 11-year-old version of Rosemary's baby.
This is not fair, especially since you had been planning
the adoption for more than two years before you told us.
Helen has brought so much pain and suffering into our
house that our family will never been the same again. If
I could go back in time and prevent you from adopting
her, I would do it in a second.
I still don't understand why you did this. What was
missing from our family that you needed to bring in from
elsewhere? Why can't you see that Helen is a cruel,
heartless, and angry person? She doesn't love us, and
she isn't thankful for what you've given to her, and she
doesn't deserve to be a part of this family. She isn't
capable of forming relationships, even her social worker
told you that. Even after two years she doesn't call you
'mom and dad', she doesn't hug or kiss you, and she
doesn't turn to you for guidance or support. Why do you
still shower her with love and affection? I don't
understand how you could favor your adoptive daughter
over your REAL daughters. You spend so much time
with Helen that you neglect us. It isn't fair.
I know what you're thinking--that I'm selfish. I'm only
trying to protect Jenny and Kate. Remember them?
They're your real daughters, the ones who need you the
most right now. Helen HURTS them, physically and
emotionally. Helen is abusing us just like she was
abused, but you're too in denial to see it.
Do you need proof? The other day Helen bit Jenny
on her arm. Helen is THIRTEEN years old, and Helen is
only eight. When Jenny started to cry, Helen hit her
across the face, knocking her over- and it even left a
bruise by her temple. You dismissed it when I told you
what happened, even though Jenny was bleeding and bruised. And that's only one incident out of hundreds.
Jenny doesn't trust you to take care of her anymore.
Helen can't hurt Kate and I because we're bigger
than her, but that doesn't stop her from cursing at us
and insulting us. We try to ignore her when this
happens, but then she smacks Jenny around or gets
revenge some other way. It was Helen's fault that Kate's
hamster is dead. Helen let the animal out of its cage and
shut it in the same room as the dog. She laughed at the
struggle that took place inside the room. She only thing
stopping me from slapping her is the wrath I would face
from you.
When I confront you about Helen's behavior, you only
say that "she acts the way an abused child acts." You
can't possibly think that her behavior is due entirely to
the abuse she suffered. I think she is just a rotten
human being, without any feelings of remorse or
empathy. I can easily see her growing up to be a
psychopath and ending up in jail.
I hate you for spending thousands of dollars on
Helen's medication and therapy, while I'm searching for
scholarships and financial aid. I hate you for exhausting
your resources on Helen. I'm going to college next year,
then Kate, and eventually Jenny. Helen is 13, Jenny is
8, and they both read at the 4th grade level. Helen will
be lucky if she ever gets her high school diploma or
goes to Community College- and I don't think she has
enough drive to get herself there anyway.
You tell me that the therapy that you are getting for
Helen is helping her, but I can't believe it. Nothing can
help her. She brags about how she lies to her therapist.
She lies to you too. She manipulates you. We'll be lucky
if Jenny doesn't end up with "reactive attachment
disorder" like Helen. She could get the disorder just from
having to live with Helen and suffering your neglect.
This is what I've wanted to say throughout this whole
letter: You have ruined our family. It's too late to fix
anything. Oh how I wish we could send her back. She
has sucked all the joy out of our home. I'm afraid of what
will happen to Jenny when Kate and I are both at
college.
I am graduating in June, and I am saying goodbye to
you and this life which has been a nightmare for the
past two years. I just hope I can continue to protect Kate
and Jenny from the brutal intruder you welcomed into
our house.
Your daughter,
Lauren
