February 15, 2003

Jeremy,

I just want you to know, I had a dream about you about a month or so ago. It was about us, sitting together on that porch swing on you balcony, watching the fireflies and talking. That was really it, nothing strange happened or anything, the dream itself was very simple, not much thought involved you know.

The only strange thing about that dream is I haven't seen you in 11 months, and the whole time I was dreaming about you, I was lying next to Michael.

You're probably going to think that I'm crazy, that is, if you don't already think I am, but after that night I couldn't stop thinking about you. Where have you been, what are you doing, do you still think about me, that kind of thing. At first I just figured it was natural, a girl stays with a guy for 2 years and she generally wonders what happened to him. I just don't think its that simple anymore though. Even when I'm with Michael I'm thinking about you. I keep having one thought come back to me, I tried to brush it off, but I guess I just can't. Am I still in love with you?

Michael took me to the park for our 6 month anniversary last night, but all I could think about was you. Do you remember that June when you took me up to the goldfish pond at the park behind your house every day? And do you remember when you and I packed up the Bronco and just took off? I do. I remember every little detail, and what makes me feel worse is the fact that I miss it, and even worse, I miss you. Trust me, I've been trying to stop thinking about you, to drop the whole thing, to remember how much Mike means to me, how much he loves me, but my mind always wanders back to you.

The more I thought about you, the more I thought, why did we break up in the first place? I've been trying to figure that out, and all I can remember is that it was my fault. A lot of good that does me, huh. What ever it was had to have been pretty dumb on my part though; I really loved you. No offense to Michael, he has been so sweet and he tries so hard. But he is never going to be you.

So, I finally let the question stay in my mind. Am I still in love with you?

Yes, I am.

Cassady