February 20, 2003

Tia,

I suppose I should have known that it would have come down to this. At one point, I figured it if had ever ended, it would have been on good terms, or better terms...instead of what it is now. Whenever I think about you, or see a picture of you, I get angry, and disgusted. At you, at myself, at what I allowed you to do. Because you are so self-righteous and petty, I doubt that even if it took 10 years for you to find this, you'd still find a way to place all the blame on me. And that's fine really. I've learned in the past few months, that nothing you say will ever make a difference to me. You can lie all you want, and make up shit all you want, but it doesn't matter. We both know the truth. Maybe one day you'll be able to discern it, from the bullshit you made up just to hurt me. It's a long shot. I'm not holding my breath.

It's lame on my part to even offer rebuttals for all the nasty things you've said. I've done it before. It didn't do any good. I won't be doing it again. It would please me to no end to take cheap shots at you over and over again. And while, I've said a few things here and there about you, they've all been the truth. And we both know it. It's okay if you deny it though. I know it hurts deep down.

In the whole time we knew each other, I can't remember a damn thing I ever did for you. And vice- versa. And that a good thing. You will never, in a hundred years, ever make up for the few choice words and actions you took against me. And when you are the same person, doing the same job, and having the same pathetic existance, a hundred years from now, that will be my ultimate satisfaction. Only time will tell, and I've got plenty of it. So go on and pretend you are "better" than I am. I hope it's comforting when you think about all the people you don't have in your life. And I'm confident I won't be the last person you royally fuck over. You've done it before you met me, and because it's your nature, you'll do it again. And when you find this, make sure and write about it somewhere on the web. That's what you do. It's your driving life force. "Just watch. I'll bet she comes up with some stupid drama and posts about it and stuff..." Touche my dear.

Have a nice so-called life m'dear.
Jules