February 27, 2003
Dear Mallory,
I hate you. It’s childish and selfish, but I hate
you. I hate that you were such a big part of his life for so
long. That you were the one he turned to when he was
hurting. I hate that you still talk to him. And that he finds
comfort in the memories of your past. I hate the fact that
I will never be as good. I will never equal what the two of
you had. I will never live up to the standards you have
set for him when he looks for someone new.
But you two are over. And now there is me. He might
never look at me the way he did you, but I can always
hope. Because maybe he'll look at me a different way. A
better way. The thing is though, I always get this small
flicker of hope and then you re-enter the scene.
You are constantly emailing him. You are constantly
messaging him on AOL. You confess your love for him
in your online diary. Did you know I was aware of all of
this? I don't think he knows, I don't want him to. But I’m
keeping tabs on you.
You had your turn with him, 14 months at that. But
now it's over. And god damnit it's my turn now. It’s my
turn to experience his wonderful charm. It’s my turn to
be showered with his kisses. It’s my turn to fall head
over heels in love. It’s my turn to be the one he calls out
for. It’s my turn to be all he needs. It’s my turn to be his
baby.
You had yours. And now it's mine.
Don't try to change his mind anymore. It won't work. I
won't let you win this. My feelings for him are so much
stronger than you think. And I’m not going to give up
that easily. I’m finally ready to fall in love. And he is the
person I want to fall in love with. Don’t try to take him
away from me a third time. I know you've tried twice
before. But you failed. And you will again. Don’t you get
that?
He told me he was falling in love with me. He told me
he missed me when I was gone. He told me I was the
one he wanted to be with. So what is the problem? What don't you understand? It is me now. Not you. I am
sorry you don't understand, but it really isn't that difficult.
Please stop trying to win him back. Because you
won't. You can't. It simply isn't going to happen. So save
yourself the energy of trying.
I hate you. Plain and simple. I always will. And I know
you hate me too. But that doesn't matter. I am his
girlfriend now. And you are finally out of the picture. So
do us all a favor and stay away for good this time. It will
make things so much easier for all of us.
Good riddance Mallory,
Beth
