February 6, 2003

Jay,

When I walked into my brother's house tonight, I got the same response as usual. Everyone looked up from his or her drink, drum or guitar, smiled and threw a "what's up?!" my way. Everyone, that is, except you. I didnt notice it at first. However as the night wore on and you refused to make eye contact with me, I grew confused.

There were a couple new people hanging out there, but there usually are. This new blonde chick; she seemed cool, but no one seemed to show an attachment to her, I wondered who she was there with. But when you jumped up to get another beer, she was standing by you and holding your hand. I figured you were the one she wanted to see. I quickly realized why you wouldnt look at me.

I'm not mad at you. So dont think that. I should be, though. Anyone else would. After all, you did highly warn me not to screw with your head, that you've been hurt alot and didnt want to be again. I said I wouldn't, and yet you were the one to play games with my mind and tease my heart by stringing me along and leading me to believe you liked me for two long months. I can't believe it took me that long to figure out you werent worth it. I can't believe you'd do that, especially me being "Nad's lil sis." I'm even more surprised my brother didnt beat you to a pulp, i guess you're lucky.

I'm over that. I'm so over that. You dont have to hide if you're seeing someone. I have a boyfriend. And he makes me so much more happier than you ever could have. I'm just glad I realized that, instead of letting you fool me.

So next time, you can look at me. Next time, you can say hi or smile. You can also acknowledge your girl in front of me, I'm sure she'd appreciate it. And you can know I'm not mad. I'm much happier, actually.

Chris